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James
Heyyyyyy.... I object 😂😂😂😂
 
My 92 Yr old Mother-law told me this yesterday and made me chuckle:
A chap driving down a country lane realised there was a bee in the car, so wound down the window to let it out. "Thank you." said the bee and flew off. 100m down the road, the car stopped. The bee flew back to the car and asked why he had stopped. The chap replied, "I have run out of fuel." The bee asked him to open his fuel cap and flew in. A few moments later, he flew back out and did a bee dance. Suddenly, thousands of bees arrived and formed an orderly queue, taking turns to explore the fuel tank. The chap had no idea what was going on but waited patiently for them to finish. The bee eventually told him that he would be able to go on his way. The chap asked what had gone into the tank, and the bee replied. "It's BEE PEE, of course!!!!!!!!"
John
 
And for us older members - 12 commandments !

1) Talk to yourself. There are times when you need expert advice

2) "In Style" are the clothes that still fit

3) You don't need anger management. You need people to stop pissing you off.

4) Your people skills are just fine. It's your tolerance for idiots that needs work.

5) The biggest lie that you tell yourself is, "I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it."

6) "On time," is when you get there.

7) Even duct tape can't fix stupid, but it definitely does muffle the sound.

8) It would be wonderful if we could put ourselves in the tumble dryer, then come out wrinkle free and three sizes smaller.

9) Lately you have noticed people your age are so much older than you.

10) Growing old should have taken much longer.

11) Ageing has slowed you down but it hasn't shut you up.

12) You still haven't learned to act your age and hope you never will.

And one more..

"One for the road" means peeing before you leave the house.
 
And for us older members - 12 commandments !

1) Talk to yourself. There are times when you need expert advice

2) "In Style" are the clothes that still fit

3) You don't need anger management. You need people to stop pissing you off.

4) Your people skills are just fine. It's your tolerance for idiots that needs work.

5) The biggest lie that you tell yourself is, "I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it."

6) "On time," is when you get there.

7) Even duct tape can't fix stupid, but it definitely does muffle the sound.

8) It would be wonderful if we could put ourselves in the tumble dryer, then come out wrinkle free and three sizes smaller.

9) Lately you have noticed people your age are so much older than you.

10) Growing old should have taken much longer.

11) Ageing has slowed you down but it hasn't shut you up.

12) You still haven't learned to act your age and hope you never will.

And one more..

"One for the road" means peeing before you leave the house.
5, 9, and 12 fit me
 
had to tell the other half that no8 was not what she was thinking ..
 
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