No thanks...

[flemage]

Isant this what admin or the mods are for? Sorry I don't really know much about forums, only ever been on this one. But if there is an issue which perhaps none of us could comment on (as we haven't seen it) perhaps the OP could forward to admin and see what they think?

If they come back…

 

[MandF]

It depends who it was being nasty flemage, I am afraid.

 

[Black Comb]

Yes, very light touch modding on here, unless your post something "commercial" in which case they are very quick to amend.
Rudeness has been allowed for ages, I've complained several times over the years to no avail.

 

[Tom Bick]

Yes thats right Black Comb when the forum was set up and you must remember as you joined at a similar time its intention was to be more self moderating as opposed to over moderated and that has continued throughout. It was also intended to be commercial free something that has also continued.

This thread has cabin fever all over it don’t worry the sun will return and we can all go and visit the bees once more.

 

[Little John]

.....who was it?

Well - the OP may have disappeared (hopefully not for long) - but whosoever 'did the wicked deed' knows who they are, so perhaps they would have the balls - assuming it's a bloke - to confess all. I'm sure they would be forgiven, after a sufficient display of apologetic grovelling.

LJ

 

[parkranger]

Queens is obviously not going to give the name up on the forum and maybe that's correct. I'm pretty sure that the alledged culprit is also not going to raise his/her head above the parapet given the groundswell of displeasure amongst the forum members. However, we don't know what was said and it is just possible that whatever it was, was interpreted in a way in which it was not meant. As some have already admitted, there have been other things said which members have not been entirely proud of,given the time to reflect on it. It is also possible that the post was pm'd to avoid embarrassment amongst the wider audience. I would hope that Queens is still on here, in which case she will have seen the overwelming level of support for her or anyone else who has been a victim of forum abuse. I would also hope that the person in question accused of wrongdoing might contact Queens in order to apologise or at least explain the motive behind the pm and that it had been mis-interpreted. I think we have been quick to accuse (without evidence) and hope that this was not a case of a nasty and spiteful message - If it was, then shame on YOU!

 

[MandF]

I think an entirely appropriate way of toning messages on forums such as this, is to imagine you are addressing someone in a group, in a pub.

Yes, often nuances in text are missing, and therefore sometimes comments and posts can be interpreted differently than if spoken.

However, some on here wouldn't dare speak to people, often newbies/strangers, in the flesh as they do on here. To take it to PM is even more cowardly. IMO

 

[peter genders]

if people did not hide behind made up names they may be more respectfull.

 

[pargyle]

I think an entirely appropriate way of toning messages on forums such as this, is to imagine you are addressing someone in a group, in a pub.

Yes, often nuances in text are missing, and therefore sometimes comments and posts can be interpreted differently than if spoken.

However, some on here wouldn't dare speak to people, often newbies/strangers, in the flesh as they do on here. To take it to PM is even more cowardly. IMO

Yes, it's good advice but there are a few regular posters who have the bedside manner of Ghengis Khan and a somewhat short fuse when posts don't reflect their opinions. I think you have to read some posts with a little leeway - the advice is often great - delivery ? Sometimes 2 out of 10 !

 

[Polyanwood]

Over the years on here I have sometimes had very helpful PMs out of the blue in reponse to a query. Those who sent them were offering specific advice. I therefore don't assume that the person who upset Queens (and who has therefore rufled all our feathers) and who made her feel she doesn't want to stay, meant to upset her. I do hope the person will apologise.

 

[pargyle]

if people did not hide behind made up names they may be more respectfull.

Perhaps ... but it doesn't always follow.

 

[oliver90owner]

If you disagree with something that someone says, then by all means post your opinion and back it up with reason and facts

The main problem there is who does the novice reader (who can't tell what is right and what is rubbish and is not so good at sorting it out) follow? Likely the one hive owner (because they are in a similar situation) who may be giving out a load of bullsh*t. It clearly happens as there are so many preposterous beekeeping myths around, even with the internet available to uncover them.

I have been chatting to Sarah by e-mail and have passed on the gist of the thread. She is rightly (or wrongly - it matters not) upset with the PM she received. I will remind her of the option of passing it to the moderators, for possible action, in my next e-mail.

 

[ayagerard]

Queens is obviously not going to give the name up on the forum and maybe that's correct. I'm pretty sure that the alledged culprit is also not going to raise his/her head above the parapet given the groundswell of displeasure amongst the forum members. However, we don't know what was said and it is just possible that whatever it was, was interpreted in a way in which it was not meant. As some have already admitted, there have been other things said which members have not been entirely proud of,given the time to reflect on it. It is also possible that the post was pm'd to avoid embarrassment amongst the wider audience. I would hope that Queens is still on here, in which case she will have seen the overwelming level of support for her or anyone else who has been a victim of forum abuse. I would also hope that the person in question accused of wrongdoing might contact Queens in order to apologise or at least explain the motive behind the pm and that it had been mis-interpreted. I think we have been quick to accuse (without evidence) and hope that this was not a case of a nasty and spiteful message - If it was, then shame on YOU!

this is not the first time things have gotten out of hand,
and i do think mod you should contact queens with a view to clarifying the situation privately behind the scenes it has happened on your watch.??
queens i have enjoyed your input to this forum over the time and i hope you stay on here

 

[Shabro]

One thing that constantly annoys me as an IT tutor is the way that people can take messages, emails or texts completely the wrong way. I also deal with conflict resolution and one thing that crops up more often than not is language barriers, and by that I don't mean english vs french. I mean by the language someone uses i.e. generational, colloquial or social. Not everyone uses the same and people can unfortunately take things way out of context.

 

[YorkshireBees]

Personally I think that no one relishes receiving any kind of message, public for private, that says they are wrong.
Be it true or not, in beekeeping the ONE thing I have learned is that you never stop learning and that many people will always have a difference of opinion.

That said I think some of the people posting on this thread should re-read the original message.

I quote it below with what, in my opinion, are the highlighted / relevant points.

Getting a PM to tell me I am wrong is out - bad manners and plain nasty. Sorry if my bees don't do what many others do - maybe they are weird or I am seeing things...But I just don't need it. It related to my first post in ages - and I wish I hadn't bothered...

Logging out permanently - to much crap in my life already to put up with more from insulting member PMs...

Thanks to those of you who are wonderful, thank-you to those of you who have helped me greatly in the past...and those who have made me laugh and made me think

But

Goodbye

It is always sad and upsetting to feel that anyone in this community is being done wrong by
However as per a lot of posts that I read, there are not enough facts / information for me to make a full judgement on the matter.
What I mean is that, reading the text, in my opinion it does not say the PM was abusive just that they said Queens was wrong on a subject!
So all those that immediately start to post showing support (I for one would always support any member to try and discourage them from leaving the forum) but then accusing the 3rd party of being abusive is incorrect.

Please calm down and re-read a post before jumping onto the reply button.

And yes I agree that if anyone feels they are mis-treated by another member either in public or private then a word with the Admin is the best course of action.

All the above is my own opinion / feeling.

 

[MandF]

..

 

[parkranger]

MandF

Read Rab's post again (like I had to) and maybe it also can be interpreted in another way! I don't think that it's the admission that you think it is.

 

[MandF]

..

 

[MandF]

MandF

Read Rab's post again (like I had to) and maybe it also can be interpreted in another way! I don't think that it's the admission that you think it is.

Yes, I see what you mean, have deleted my posts in case I was wrong!

If you can, can you delete the quoted part in yours? Thanks

 

[BKF Admin]

It depends who it was being nasty flemage, I am afraid.

Thats not true,everyone is equal and the forum always go with the majority.

Sometimes we get it wrong but always try not to take sides.